Yesterday was weird and confronting in a way that I never thought I would share with you all but after what has happened today I changed my mind. So, here’s what happened.

After having tried and failed at the ‘team’ approach to consulting (I wasn’t emotionally ready or capable of being a manager when I tried it last year) this year has been a more solo affair.  A state of affairs that I have found most satisfying until recently.  I didn’t have to tell anyone what I was doing,  delegate, pay anyone else or worry about how other people would be judging the way I did things and that made me happy until yesterday.   Having spent much of this year working on my mental health and trying to figure out why I always spin my wheels at a million miles an hour, take on too much and then fall in a heap – usually covered in cold sores and with a sinus headache – before recovering just long enough to do it all again I had finally Hit.The.Wall.  That happened yesterday.

Yesterday if you were the one consulting client that I started and finished a formula fix for in record time making a brilliant job of it (if I do say so myself) you would have thought me awesome.  The most amazing chemist since God created chemicals to do chemistry with.  A whizz, a guru.  But I didn’t feel like that.  Yes I managed to answer a few e-mails, solve a few problems, trial a new cleaning formula that I’d made, clean the house, pick up the kids, take kids on a play date, answer the phone once or twice and read the news but […]